Apparently the gag order on talking about my husband's activation didn't apply to everyone. The guy that told my husband to keep it quiet was quoted in a newspaper article the next day about the company's activation. So we've started telling our friends, my professors, our pastors, etc. Basically the more people that are praying for me and for my husband and his safe return, the better. We've finally found out exactly when he'll have to ship out for his schooling so it's nice to have some certainty. The guys in charge of the unit aren't telling them anything - whether it's because they're keeping it quiet or just don't know themselves remains to be seen. So even though we can tell people who care I still have that feeling of hiding behind a mask. People who I have just everyday encounters with will bring me to tears without even knowing why simply by asking about my husband. This sucks.

Have you ever been falling apart inside but felt like you had to bottle it up? Like you had to walk around like nothing's wrong? That's the way I've felt for the past 6 days. On Sunday when my husband and I got home from the lab at school we found a message on our machine. It was the Navy corpsman with his unit so we both assumed that the supply of Anthrax vaccines had come in and he would have to report to Lansing to receive his shot. We couldn't have been more wrong. We needed to by groceries so my husband and I went into town and he just called in on his cell phone. That call has changed my life forever. He turned very somber on the phone and wouldn't look at me. I usually jump to the conclusion that something is wrong so I tried to convince myself that I was over-reacting. But I wasn't. My husband hung up the phone and said, "We just got activated."

My husband was supposed to get his second anthrax shot this weekend. Luckily he got a call from his fire team leader that the Navy didn't get there shipment of shots in so that will have to wait. We had plans to go out with my hubby's parents this weekend so we went to the quack again. She tested my husband for Anthrax and it came up in his system - she says that a vaccine shouldn't still be there. It also came up that three different areas of blood coagulents are not behaving as they should. Which is very scary to me. So she's got his homeopathic supposedly combatting the affects of the vaccine as well as protecting him from Anthrax. I hope she's right.

Been awhile since I've written. I've been away at the Model Arab League for a class that I'm in. One of the things I love about that MAL is that it makes you step outside of the bubble that we as Americans live in and see things outside of that perspective. It's good for me to realize that there are a lot of countries out there that don't see the USA as a pioneer of freedom but as a big bully who won't leave anyone else alone. I think that this realization is especially important in our current situation.