By the way Happy Valentine's Day everyone - hope that you can all spend it with someone you love.

I have to admit that I have it pretty good as far as being a military wife. My husband drills once a month and then has school during the summer. Other than that we are normal newlyweds. However there is one thing that I wasn't prepared to deal with: an Anthrax "vaccine." I have heard so many terrible things about this vaccine and how it actually kills people. My mother-in-law took my husband and I to a "quack" (a homeopathic dr.) because I had been pretty sick for a long time. The quack's daughter had been in the military as well and she discussed the Anthrax vaccine with my husband: why not to take it, what it can do to you, what it actually is, etc. She also told us to let her know when he would have to get it done because she had a homeopathic that would nullify the vaccine and also protect from Anthrax. Well my husband had to take the first part of the Anthrax vaccine this past weekend. I say had to because he was ordered to take it and as a Marine he can't question that. I don't really understand why this vaccine is so bad but I can't help but worry about my husband. The military has made many mistakes in the past and right now I really don't trust their judgment.

My husband and I love the TV show "Scrubs." In one episode the hospital that the characters work at is compared to a monster. And they do the funny digital stuff that gives the building flaming mouth and eyes. Now of course the actual building itself has nothing to do with the doctors not having lives but they put their feelings on it as if it did. Now I say how much the Marine Corps is screwing up our lives and not letting us live like we want to, etc. Well I need to stop and think for a second here don't I? What exactly is the Marine Corps? It's a bunch of people across this nation and world, just like my husband, who are simply doing what they are told. Should I blame them? Of course not. But I have to blame someone, don't I?

So my husband's unit is apparently involved in an annual international Marine Competition. Yeah whatever the heck that means, because I don't get it. Anyway, now it sounds like his unit might not get activated before the competition because they have to compete. So now the sicko that I am, I'm hoping that if we do go to war, we'll get it over with before the competition. How can I be so selfish?

You know the expression, "Waiting for the other shoe to drop"? Well that's kind of how the Marine Corps is making me feel right now. It's like I almost can't go on with my life because I'm sitting here waiting for them to drop a big, ole combat boot right on all our hopes and dreams. And I hope that no one thinks that I'm a terrible person for this, but when I heard about the Columbia, after my initial shock and sadness, I honestly thought, "Well maybe this tragedy will help to cool Bush down and divert people's attention from war." I'm not proud of it but that's what I thought. I know that anyone who could have averted the Columbia situation would have and I can't help but wonder why the outcry for peace or at least UN backing hasn't been more. If the unexpected deaths of 7 people brought this much emotion then shouldn't the almost guaranteed loss of life that a war would involve require more consideration?